I'm going to be real with y'all for a minute. I am 19 and have never dated anyone before. That may seem out of the ordinary for some of you but some may think differently. By society's standards that may sound like I should try harder to get the right guy, that I am weird and will never fit in, or maybe that I'm just not good enough for anyone. The world tries to make it seem like we have to fit a mold for how our romantic lives should play out but let me give you a little piece of advice: we are not called to be molded to the world but instead molded by God. Not everyone's love story consists of the "popular cheerleader and star quarterback" stereotype. In fact, God actually has a special plan for each one of us.
Does that mean that somewhere down the line we will fall in love with Mr. McDreamy and live happily ever after? Maybe but it's not guaranteed. See, when we get caught up in finding the right guy and dreaming about our future with a Labrador (er, two cats ;)) and a white picket fence, we start to see our life as though it will start when we get there. We miss out on the opportunity to grow in our walk with the Lord and instead put our life on hold until we reach that desired finish line. You may not feel like you can relate to this now but you may in the future.
When we don't keep our eyes focused on God in every season we are in and we start listening to what society says, we can easily be tricked into believing some lies about our worth and identity. Let me break down a few lies that I have seen or even felt myself at one point.
LIE #1: You would be more valuable if you had a boyfriend/husband.
TRUTH: Nothing can add to your value. You are fully loved and valued as a child of God. "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." 1 John 3:1 NIV
LIE #2: You must have a boyfriend/husband to be happy.
TRUTH: True joy only comes from the Lord. "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11 NIV
LIE #3: Your life doesn't begin until you get married.
TRUTH: Your life has already begun. You need to make the most of the time God chooses to give you whether you're single or married. "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14 NIV
Making the Most of a Season of Singleness
Singleness doesn't have to be a season of resentment or something to be ashamed of. It actually can be thought of as a blessing! God has a purpose for us all, even when it seems like He may not. That means that even during out season of singleness He has a purpose and a plan. Instead of waiting for a boyfriend or marriage, we have the opportunity to grow by listening to what God wants to do in our lives, digging into His Word, and allowing Him to transform us and work in our hearts. When we look at a season of singleness with this mindset, if and when the time comes, we can enter into a relationship with God being the foundation of it.
Sometimes though, when we are in a time of singleness, it can be hard to feel content and have joy. We may have friends that seem so happy with their boyfriends. We may feel like we are missing out. Or, like I mentioned earlier, we might just be waiting for our season of singleness to turn into a season of a relationship. Instead of letting those negative emotions get to us, we must choose to trust the Lord. The moment we take our eyes off Christ is the moment our hearts will begin to worry and doubt. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Trusting God Through It All
Here are some practical ways to trust in the Lord through singleness:
- Surrender and entrust your desires and plans to Him.
- Reject lies and fill your mind with God's Truth.
- Remember that God is sovereign and thank Him for it.
A New Perspective
When we view singleness through God's eyes and listen to what He says about it, what once was a season of shame and resentment can now be seen as a season to honor God and live your life fully for Him.
Have you ever heard of or believed any of these lies before? What are some others that you have seen? Leave a comment down below! ♥
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